The Blackhawks are thankful for: Henrik Lundqvist

For a team that doesn’t have a legit starting goalie, Hank has done a decent job holding down the fort. Hawks should be thankful he has played above himself so far, but perhaps should think about getting a real goalie at some point. Lundqvist is over the hill.

 

The Blues are thankful for: A shitty Western conference

The Blues record is clearly inflated thanks to playing shitty Western teams on a regular basis. Not much else to say here.

 

The Preds are thankful for: Bobby Louuuu

Luongo has been a great story so far. He’s having an excellent season, and has the Preds right up there with the top teams in the West. Maybe it’s the shitty competition he faces regularly in the Western conference.

 

The Stars are thankful for: Mikko Koivu – the saiviour!

Or not. Maybe he should be thankful for Dan’s sister?

 

The Jets are thankful for: Malcom Subban

He’s gonna need someone to take over for Price next year when he has shit rates. Oh wait, you can only protect one goalie in expansion. Hummmm…..

 

The Aves are thankful for: McDavid?

Not much to be thankful for here. This team is either underperforming, or just not living up the GM’s hype-train. Despite what Bryce says, Smith-Pelley is just not that good. I guess they are probably thankful for McDavid. This year anyway.

 

The Wild are thankful for: Finland

Now, if only they could get all the GOOD Finnish players on their roster. Where is Mikko Koivu when you need him? Lets hope Miika doesn’t overpay for him.

 

The Flames are thankful for: The new slashing rules

Little Johnny Hockey got his way, and with the camp-down on slashing in the NHL, he’s having a heck of a season. Maybe Kevin’s team will be competitive next year…. or maybe they will underperform… again.

 

The Ducks are thankful for: Tanking, no, going for it, no, tanking, no going for it. I can’t make up my mind.

Not sure what to say. I guess they are thankful for a god-awful Pacific division. Despite their flip-flopping, they seem to have a good chance to make the playoffs.

 

The Coyotes are thankful for: Justin Trudeau

We all know you’re secretly a fan of JT. I bet you even use his falling-down-the-stairs party trick on a regular basis.

 

The Kings are thankful for: Next Season

Honestly, Rumpy will have one heck of a team next season. I think the rebuilt may be nearing an end. Just imagine if he had Bobrovsky still. Or fowler. Or Chychrun.

 

The Canucks are thankful for: The NHL Aves losing Will Butcher

With the NHL Aves ditching the talented D-man, Bryce followed suit, and it looks like the Canucks will benefit from his exceptional performance with the NHL Devils.

 

The Oilers are (hopefully) thankful for: the 2018 BRHL Draft (2017 NHL draft)

Some say it is a bad draft (it is), but with a slew of picks, particularly in the first two rounds, the Oilers sure are hoping that it turns out better than most figure it will.

 

The Sharks are thankful for: ummmmmmmm Kerfoot and Kunin??

Yeah, I dunno. Not much to be thankful for here. Kerfoot is looking decent this year in the NHL, and Kunin will likely pan out, so I guess there is a bit of hope there.

 

The Canadiens are thankful for: Rumpy

Bobrovsky, Chychrun, Fowler. ‘nuff said. Hanzal has been good too – thanks Rich.

 

The Red Wings are thankful for: Luck

No way this team should be as good as it is. I think they will see a correction eventually, but until then, might as well embrace the luck component of the sim and be thankful for the start that they have had.

 

The Senators are thankful for: past GM’s they ripped off.

Their previous cups. Doesn’t look like they will be winning again anytime soon. They really should be thankful for all the past GM’s they ripped off in order to build that team.

 

The Bruins are thankful for: Kucherov.

Kid can play. Bruins are gearing up for a run next season, and Kucherov will be a big part of that. Vasi isn’t bad either.

 

The Panthers are thankful for: Expansion

Expansion can’t come soon enough for the Panthers. They need their GM to step away and let someone who cares about the future of the team run in.

 

The Lightning are thankful for: Mike Smith?

Ummm… yeah… I don’t think so. They really should be thankful for Jaden Schwartz. He’s off to an excellent NHL season, and will be a legit top line forward for years to come it seems.

 

The Sabres are thankful for: the fact that the season is already almost half over.

This is going to be a long one for the Sabres. Maybe if they had a goalie I’ve actually heard of they wouldn’t be such a disaster this year. Wasting the prime of Crosby’s career is unfortunately. I wonder what the plan is next year for Buffalo.

 

The Leafs are thankful for: the fact that the NHL people he works with can’t see how shitty his team is

Another disaster season in Toronto (I love saying that). Garrett better hope some of his picks pan out, or it could be a long rebuild in Toronto. No Austin Matthews in sight for this franchise.

 

The Devils are thankful for: Mike Fisher

Like the team in general, Fisher is overperforming so far this season. Looking at the Devils roster I have no clue how they have done so well so far. Great performances so far from Fisher and the goalies seems to have propelled this team well above where they should be.

The Islanders are thankful for: An active GM (Or are they?)

Rich E was a nice guy, but no particularly active, which is a shame as he built one heck of a team. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like expansion will be kind to this team. Lets hope Ryan can work some majic and put together a good plan for expansion.

 

The Rangers are thankful for: The fact that Larry lives in the US

Am I the only one that is a little bit scared of Larry and his Glock? Good thing he lives in a land where it is perfectly normal for a grumpy old man to “pack”. Remind me never to buy anything from you on Kijiji.

 

The Penguins (will be) thankful for: playoffs

Poor Billy. Desperate to make the playoffs at whatever cost, and still fighting the dog fight in the East. Maybe you should consider relocating to the Pacific?

 

The Capitals are thankful for: GMs who overpay for UFAs in trade.

Joe paid a 2^nd and 5^th for Wheeler, and rumor is he’s going to get some poor schmuck to pony up a 1^st if/when he dumps Wheeler. Don’t get me wrong, I like Wheeler, but a 1^st?

 

The Hurricanes are thankful for: Todd Cordell

At least someone in that family knows hockey! BAM!

LOL, all kidding aside. I think Rich should be thankful for the rebuild, and just embrace it. Playoffs look like a long shot now.

 

The Flyers are thankful for: KINKAID!@!@##@@@

Fuck me. Trade him already.

 

The Jackets are thankful for: Injuries

 

Nothing helps a tank-job more than all your good players getting injured. Arvidsson, Baertschi and Zibanejad all injured. Hilarious.