Sorry for the long delay ladies, gentlemen, and Rex. I did not have very many thots. But now I have a few and I need to share them.

The return

Of

Thots

Includes Jared Mitchell's team; _ > which is one of the strongest offensive forces in the league, sitting 3rd in goals per game (3.62) and boasting a top-tier power play (6th, 23.43%). This offensive firepower has translated into a 40-20-6 record, placing them 2nd in the Atlantic Division.

Defensively, the team is solid but not elite, ranking 15th in goals against (2.88 GA/GP). The penalty kill (8th, 83.26%) is respectable and helps limit damage in key situations. This team thrives on outscoring opponents rather than shutting them down.

Forwards: B+

Your forward group is solid with a mix of youth and experience. Dylan Larkin, Gabriel Vilardi, and Dawson Mercer give you a strong foundation for both the present and future. Patrick Kane still has offensive upside but is past his prime, and Ivan Barbashev is a great utility player.

There’s a good mix of playmakers, two-way players, and offensive producers, but you lack elite, game-breaking talent that can push you into championship contention. Your depth is good but not overwhelming.

Strengths:

• Well-balanced with two-way ability.
• Good mix of young players and veterans.
• Larkin and Vilardi can carry offensive duties.

Weaknesses:

• No true superstar.
• Lacking a dominant goal scorer.

Defense: A-

Your defense is one of your team’s biggest strengths. Dmitry Orlov, Drew Doughty, and Kris Letang bring leadership, defensive reliability, and offensive production from the back end. Evan Bouchard is a key future piece who can become your top offensive defenseman.

However, Ryan McDonagh and Letang are aging, and Doughty isn’t the force he once was. In two seasons, you’ll need to replace these guys to remain competitive.

Strengths:

• Elite puck movers in Bouchard and Letang.
• Physicality and leadership in Doughty and McDonagh.
• Good balance of offensive and defensive specialists.

Weaknesses:

• Aging core that needs reinforcements.
• Not the fastest group—could struggle against speed.

Goalies: B

Alexandar Georgiev is a good but not elite starter. He can win you games but isn’t a true franchise goalie. Cam Talbot is nearing the end of his career and is only a serviceable backup at best.

If Georgiev falters or gets injured, your goaltending could become a big issue.

Strengths:

• Georgiev is a solid starter.
• Decent experience in Talbot.

Weaknesses:

• No true #1 goalie who can steal games.
• Depth is very weak.

Prospects: C+

Your prospect pool is underwhelming. Liam Ohgren, Cameron Allen, and Maxim Barbashev have some potential, but you lack elite, high-end talent. None of your prospects scream "future superstar," and most project as middle-six forwards or bottom-pairing defensemen.

Strengths:

• A few solid names like Ohgren and Allen.
• Decent depth, but mostly lower-ceiling players.

Weaknesses:

• No blue-chip prospects.
• Lacks future franchise players.

Draft Picks: B-

Your draft capital is mediocre. You have no 1st round pick in 2025, which hurts your ability to land a star. 2026 is slightly better, with a 1st-rounder and multiple mid-to-late-round picks.

Strengths:

• 2026 1st-round pick gives some flexibility.
• Good depth picks, but no game-changing picks.

Weaknesses:

• No elite early picks in 2025.
• Will need luck in later rounds to find impact players.

Overall Grade: C++

Your team is competitive right now, but not built for long-term success. Your forwards and defense are good enough to make playoff runs, but your goalies and prospect pipeline need work. Jared has been asking for a thot for weeks now and he finally got one. Jared is a very stubborn trader and some may even call him the 3^rd Hansford. Jared’s long hair, slick bravado, superior machismo might be this teams ultimate downfall as they just look like regular season heroes rather than playoff warriors.

If you want to win now, you need:

1. A better starting goalie. Georgiev is fine, but not a Cup-winning starter.
2. One or two elite forwards. A trade for a true first-line sniper could make your offense dangerous.
3. More prospect depth. In 2-3 years, your core will start to decline, and you don’t have enough elite youth coming up.

If you’re building for the future, you need:

1. To trade veterans like Doughty, Letang, or Kane for younger assets.
2. To secure higher draft picks in 2025 and 2026.
3. A long-term plan for goaltending.